Move from the Moment

Sometimes, when we’re walking a healing path, we make decisions that feel resonant in the moment, only to find ourselves somewhere we don’t want to be. This leads to intense discomfort and the knee jerk reaction is to backtrack. 

Like, yo, universe, can I give it back?

We look back, analyzing all our choices up until this moment trying to find the turning point. Where did we go wrong? What could we have done differently? Is there someone else to blame for what’s happening? 

The thought process sounds like this: I need to change what I said or did then this thing wouldn’t be on my plate and I would be fill-in-the-blank: happier, more content, not to blame. Or, it sounds like I’m wrong, I’m bad, I chose the wrong thing.

This track completely deteriorates self-trust, creating an internal tension that’s not productive. Instead of moving forward, we spin, spiral and second guess. 

Self-reflection is a tool but only if it’s life giving. 

There’s self-reflection that informs your wellbeing, like touching a hot stove and knowing not to do it again and then there’s beating yourself with a stick while ruminating. 

I hear this a lot with questions around intuition. Like, I thought I was listening to my intuition but I didn’t get the result that I want. 

Not getting the result we want doesn’t mean our intuition steered us wrong. 

Intuition is a sense that operates from the moment with a higher and deeper vantage point than we have with our conscious minds. The medicine (instead of backtracking) is to tap into the intuitive sense again and ask what next?

Acting on resonance and discernment doesn’t necessarily mean we get a path without conflict. I’ll say that again because it’s important: 

acting on resonance and discernment doesn’t necessarily mean we get a path without conflict.

Conflict is the sandpaper that smoothes our edges. It reminds me of this quote from Josh Billings: “Life is a grindstone and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up, depends on the stuff that he’s made of.”

Conflict resolution is one of the most effective and meaningful ways we can build intimacy. We typically think of intimacy only in relationship to primary partners but it’s intimacy with Life itself I’m talking about. 

Up close and personal doesn't guarantee sunshine and rainbows. Intimacy unfolds through vulnerability, which means in order to experience it, you have to expose yourself.

The root of intimacy comes from the Latin word intimus which means inmost. The most in part of ourselves touching the most in part of Life itself. 

The rawness of it, the beating heart of it, where life reaches in behind our ribs and squeezes til we can’t breathe. 

But this is also how the tenderness gets in. This vulnerability is what allows us to rest in the safety net web, trusting that life will catch us and in every moment we have exactly what we need.

Adam Phillips says that trust is risk masquerading as a promise. 

But we were never promised things would go our way. We don’t have a special arrangement whereby we alone of all the people ever born will live without suffering, but we often feel entitled to it. 

Those times we find ourselves somewhere we don’t want to be are places with potential for great opening. They demand our guard go down and often bring us to our knees where we can see things differently.

LET’S MAKE IT PRACTICAL

I’ll give you an example, straight out of my journal. 

A few months ago, I was really into this guy. Our meeting seemed meant to be but it wasn’t unfolding the way I had been anticipating and I was uneasy.

Step 1. Get present in the crunchy. Pause and observe what’s happening.

This looked like taking the time to get out my journal and write about what I was feeling without a filter.

Step 2. Identify your options. Literally write them down.

+Reach out to him, text or call

+Close the door completely

+Just wait

Step 3. Assess each one, follow the thread of what each option would look like.

+Reach out to him - I’d be initiating contact (again). That feels like efforting and forcing.

+Close the door completely - I’m not ready to do that because I feel like there’s something here. Kind of feels like running away because I’m uncomfortable.

+Just wait - this feels uncomfortable but in a different way.

Step 4. Ask good questions.

Where am I being called to greatness? (just wait)

What is going to create a life affirming experience for me? (just wait)

Where is the resonance? (just wait)

Step 5. Follow through.

Intuitive development requires that you listen and act on the feedback.

So, I waited.

Take any situation where you’re second guessing. Map out all of your options. Feel the energetic texture of each one and then deliberately choose. 

Moving from the moment means choosing. 

See where it takes you.