Gentle Disappointment
Disappointment is the sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of our hopes and expectations. It’s when things don’t go our way. Historically, it meant to undo an appointment.
The sensation we experience with disappointment is specific. Deflated chest, rounded shoulders, hanging head, eyes cast downward. I didn’t get what I wanted.
Most of us will take it as a cue to give up or as proof that we aren’t good enough. When life and people let us down it can cause our walls to go up.
What if the whole dialogue around this could be flipped?
I believe we aren’t taught how to be excellent. We must continually seek it out and make adjustments.
Navigating disappointment is a skill and we develop it with gentleness.
Being underdeveloped looks like this:
+ feeling fundamentally unsafe in the world
+ efforting to control
+ deep distrust & suspicion
+ requiring a rigid schedule or plan
+ unease if unexpected changes are made
+ preoccupied with “your way”
Disappointment in life is inevitable. But what if we shorten the recovery time? Could we stop using disappointment as a reason to develop distrust?
A teaching I keep coming back to goes like this: courage is going from failure to failure with enthusiasm.
If we could rely so deeply on ourselves to handle anything, if we could see the world and the people around us in the absolute best light, what would change?
Practicing the skill of Gentle Disappointment looks like allowing space for grace. This means room to breathe for ourselves and room to let love in. It means having a mild, kind, tender temperament.
When disappointment comes, because it will, we lean on our ability to navigate.
We be a little less sure we have all the answers and a little more curious.
Gentle disappointment is about not taking yourself so seriously. It’s about letting the things that let you down roll off easily. When we’re gentle with ourselves around disappointment, we recover more quickly. We’re able to see the medicine with clearer vision.
Becoming skilled in gentle disappointment means we’re more adaptable, letting life always remind us to flow and not dam up the river.
I hope this info helps you navigate disappointments of all size. There’s also a video you can view here.